The Beauty of a Woman

 When asked to reveal her beauty secrets, Audrey Hepburn wrote this, and later it was read at her funeral.

All women should seek this type of beauty.
′′ To have attractive lips, speak kind words.
To have a loving look, look for the good side of people.
To look skinny, share your food with the hungry.
To have beautiful hair, let a child cross it with his own fingers once a day.
To have a beautiful poise, walk knowing you're never alone because those who love and loved you accompany you.
People, even more than objects, need to be fixed, spoiled, awakened, wanted, and saved: never give up on anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a hand, you'll find them at the end of both your arms. When you become old, you will discover that you have two hands, one to help yourself, the second to help others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, in her face, or in her way of fixing her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes because that is the door open to her heart, the source of her love.
The beauty of a woman doesn't lie in her makeup, but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the tenderness that gives love, the passion that it expresses.
The beauty of a woman grows over the years ′′

THE BAD NEWS IS "TIME FLIES"

Lately, I have had to stop and remember to time block for myself and work toward finding a happy balance between work, family, and friends.  I have found that planning helps me map out how to plan and prioritize my time between my busy real estate career and myself.  I have been trying a new plan..At the beginning of each week, I add to my planner a date night with my husband and some alone time for me.  I am one of those people who loves to work, but I also do my best work when my house is in order.  How can you be a success in business if your home life is in shambles?  Jonathan Huie said there should be time for everything: "A time to relax and a time to be busy, a time to frolic and a time to labor, a time to receive and a time to give, a time to begin and a time to finish."  That "time to finish" is sometimes difficult for me.

I have started reading THE MIRACLE MORNING  by Hal Elrod.  The basis of the book is how you set yourself up in the morning determines the rest of your day.  As a realtor, you could work 24 hours a day: however, I am learning to set work hours for myself and do my very best to keep them. I would never dream of calling a customer at 9 o'clock on a Sunday evening with a problem that will keep them up all night when there is no way it could be addressed until Monday morning.  I don't make calls before 9 A.M. or after 8 P.M.  If you set your boundaries, others will respect them.  Don't you think that sentence applies to most things in life?  Don't just spend time, invest in it wisely, and give yourself permission to enjoy life and a little binge-watching TV never hurt anyone.

“I had once heard the quote, ‘The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.’  And I always think about this when I get busy or overwhelmed.  It is empowering that I am the only one in my life that is in charge of my time and how I invest it.” — Sara Rose Kennedy

Looking Forward

 My thoughts today are with all young families facing the dilemma of "Do we go back to school, or continue virtual learning?"  My heart💗 goes out to all these parents, having to make that decision, and I also think of the amazing teachers having to learn an entirely new way of teaching without socialization.  I have tried thru this pandemic to look for a ray of sunshine in all of these challenges., so here goes...  While COVID 19 has turned all our lives upside down, the crisis could be a much-needed opportunity to improve family life for the better, forever.  This virus has brought hardships for most of us, and at the top is economic insecurity for many, and tragedy for those who have lost a loved one. Think back to an ordinary week with the kids, there were school and daycare drop-offs, pickups and those hurried meals without the family being present just to get back in the car to drop-off all over again for dance lessons, piano, sports and a long list of after school activities.  Do you remember the times you wished to just take a breath from it all?  Well, now you have an empty calendar and here you are, no more school, no day-care, no after school activities and you are faced with the challenge of just being able to work.  In talking to a lot of young families, all those after school activities have been replaced with much simpler things like family walks, bike rides, horseback riding, and a resurgence of family game night.   Zoom meetings have provided an opportunity to be with all our long-distance family and friends as well as those that live close by.  With more time to plan meals, dusty cookbooks have come off the shelves and old family recipes, as well as healthier meals, are being prepared.  The family is sitting together and talking These are positive changes toward more of family life and while COVID 19 will continue, perhaps day by day we will get just 1% better and soon reach a "new normal," while still remembering how it felt to lead a much simpler life where you were actually able to sit back and watch how a family can interact with one another with joy and happiness just spending time making cookies with flour all over the kitchen.  Yes, we can still look forward to smiling faces. 

      

BEING REAL

The Velveteen Rabbit happens to be my very favorite children's book but with such an adult message. It's always better to be "real," You were born an original, don't die a copy. ~ John Mason. Share your weaknesses. Share your hard moments. Share your real side. It'll either scare away every fake person in your life or it will inspire them to finally let go of that mirage called 'perfection,' which will open the doors to the most important relationships you'll ever be a part of. ~Dan Pearce

Taking The First Step

The loftiest goal that I ever set for myself was at 75 years young, I decided to become a Real Estate Agent.  Once I set that goal, there was never a moment when I looked back.  I started with a realistic goal of attending school three days a week instead of taking the entire month's class in one week.  It was best for me to breakdown this goal in smaller more achievable tasks.   I knew that statistically, the odds were not in my favor as the State Real Estate Exam is one of the hardest to pass as it is ranked right up there at the top.  I also knew if I didn't try, I would never forgive myself.  For me, it would have been better to fail rather than never to have tried.  That was how I raised my sons so why would my thinking be any different.   I passed my class test with the highest grade in the class but I failed my state test twice; however, I never gave up or made excuses for my shortcomings.  I knew where my weaknesses were and sought help from a wonderful tutor who advised me.  Her name was Michele Early, and she now owns her own Real Estate Scool called THE MAGNOLIA SCHOOL OF REAL ESTATE.  When I finally passed that test it gave me a new perspective on everything.  You might say I thought of myself as "Unstoppable". Today I am an excellent Realtor who puts her customers first, and I am more concerned about building relationships than writing contracts.

The best feeling in the world is knowing you took a step in the right direction.  A step toward the future where everything that you thought to be impossible is possible.  Even the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.  Tiptoe if you must, but take the step.  There will always be obstacles along the road but I have never lost heart and that is how I have become known as an  "Agent with Heart".

Recognizing You Are Living An Authentic Life

Last week, I wrote about To Thine Own Self Be True and this week, I want to mention how I began to notice that I was, in fact, being true to myself. 

1.   I began asking myself tough questions such as "Why am I doing this?" and instead of doing what I felt that I should do, I did what I thought would serve me better.  I began being honest (not cruel) with others about how I honestly felt.

2.  This has been and still is the hardest for me and that is speaking up when I feel as though I have the need to say something that I feel important.  Hiding your feelings just to please others serves no purpose.  Sharing your feelings helps you heal but I always try to be impeccable with my words.

3.  I've learned it is not selfish to honor my needs.  Some people can work twenty-four seven on four hours of sleep, I cannot and I used to try to keep up with those people.  I now honor what I feel is important to my physical as well as mental needs.  I have learned it is perfectly okay to say "no" and when I do that, saying "yes" feels so good.  I make my own time and I am the only one who can do that for myself.

4.  You can please all of the people some of the time and some of the people all the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time.  It would be wonderful if we could get everyone to like us as it is always easier to achieve validation rather than criticism.  Being rude and unkind is not my way but I would much rather be disliked for what I stand for than liked for what I might pretend to be.

5.  Keeping company with those who make you feel happy and put a smile on your face especially during these difficult times is so important.  Don't let others get in your head with their issues, it is their issues, not yours.  Set boundaries.

6.  Don't try to keep up with the Jones, live a life that is right for you and your family.  I once read your values are your compass in life and while they can change over time, always be true to them.

7.  I call it the Holy Spirit but some may call it intuition.  Whatever you may call it, learn to listen and when you get that feeling of right or wrong in the pit of your stomach, go with it.  You will learn you are right more times than not. 

8.  Be yourself and learn to be proud of that self.  You worked hard for it and don't allow anyone else to take it away.  No one else is walking in your shoes or living your life.

9.  Don't ever be afraid to admit you are wrong or made a mistake.  Remember you are human.

10  Sometimes you just have to let go no matter how difficult or afraid you may be.  Hanging on to something that is comfortable and yet you know is wrong will never serve you well.  By letting go, it makes room for who else you can be.

I've experienced hard times and the very best of times and I don't think that I would want to change any of it because who I am today is a result of where I have been.   What I have learned is to keep coming

home to myself.

~Live Well and Prosper 

To Thine Own Self Be True

When it comes to living as a compassionate non-judgemental human being, the only challenge greater than learning to walk a mile in someone else's shoes is learning to walk comfortably in your own.

"The most confused we get is when we try to convince our heads of something we know in our hearts to be a lie." ~Karen Morning.  There have been many times in my own life when I felt as though people didn't know or understand me.  How could they, when I didn't even know myself.  Some years ago I began searching for my authentic self by peeling away layers of years of conditioning about being told who I should be  These layers can be pretty heavy and sometimes we don't even realize they are there.  We just get used to the status quo.  We know we feel off, something doesn't feel right, in fact, it feels just plain wrong.  When I began the process of searching for "the real me," it required stripping layer after layer looking for and trying to understand why I had the feeling I did about my own self-worth.   I was the oldest of three in my family and was taught that it was most important for me to always set the example for my siblings.  I am certain that many of you remember phrases such as you are to be seen and not heard, don't make any waves, do as you are told, and we all remember this one, stop crying or I will give you something to cry about.  Then, to make things worse, we were always being compared to others.  I often herd "your father is an officer in the United States Army, and your actions are a reflection on us."  This actually proved to be true when my father was being considered for the job of Military Attache to Paraguay, and the FBI paid a visit to my High School to ensure I was of good character and not a trouble maker.  I am proud to say, I passed the test.  This was my family belief system and while it was not wrong, it turned me into a tried and true people pleaser constantly feeling paralyzed about what choices to make, and all I knew was they must always be the right choice.

Having to feel that I always needed to portray a perfect image on the outside was beginning to make me feel very disingenuous so I decided it was time for me to work at changing my target of behavior.  In doing so, I decided to become a fly on the wall and began observing myself objectively.  What I saw was that I wasn't being honest about what I thought, wanted, or needed.  I needed to make space in my life to connect with myself so I started journaling, asking myself tough questions, and being honest with the answers.  Now I have become a life long student of constantly learning how to be my Authentic Self.  What does that really mean?  It simply means being my best self and not a poor imitation of someone else.  I began my journey by not worrying about what others thought I should be (that was an extremely difficult habit to break), instead I concentrated on who I wanted to be.  No one can tell you how to be true to yourself except you.

Next week I will give you a glimpse of how I began to recognize that I was finally beginning to Live My Authentic Life.  

~Live Well and Prosper

The Lady on the Beach and Aging Gracefully

Betty Freidan said, "Aging is not a lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength."  These are such awesome words as  I don't think there has been a time in my life that I have ever felt so vibrant and confident.   On the first of August, I will turn 77 and I am often referred to as the older lady with the gray hair.  I think of my gray hair as wisdom and nature's highlights.  As for these lines in my face, they are where many smiles have been and tears have landed as well as the beautiful sun and wind on my skin.  The memories have certainly been worth the wrinkles.  These scars I have, they are real badges of courage.  I once read the best classroom is at the foot of an elderly person.  So, all this being said...I don't for a second regret growing older as it is a privilege denied to many.

When I was in my thirties, I spent my summers with my husband and my boys at Cape May, New Jersey on Windsor Beach.  Each year I would see the same lovely lady walking the beach, always with her husband, hand in hand.  I grew older and so did she, suddenly she was walking alone.  What always impressed me about "my lady on the beach" as I called her, was how she grew more beautiful with every passing year.  She had the most beautiful silver hair that glistened in the sunlight, a smile that I will never forget, she always had on a very tasteful bathing suit that was well suited to her age.  She embraced the classics and was no longer trying to be 35 again.   By her appearance, it appeared she lived a very healthy lifestyle.  I never saw her face until years later when I finally decided to tell her just how much I had admired her over the years and how thanks to her, I would strive to become my own lady on the beach someday.  When I talked to her, she told me about her husband passing and when I looked into her beautiful face and listened to her speak, I don't think I ever witnessed anyone quite so beautiful.  I never saw her another summer after that encounter but whenever I have an opportunity to walk a beach, I try to stand a little taller, smile a little brighter and can only hope that I have become someone's "lady on the beach" 

I don't believe that I could share a story any better than this one about the art of aging gracefully.  I am still trying to power forward in my own life.   Looking back, I remember CoCo Chanel once said "Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. It is up to you to merit the face you have at 50." The fact is, aging is inevitable.  We should embrace it as a beautiful part of life.  Focus on happiness and what brings you the most joy.  There are lots of bumps in the road like we are experiencing right now but we can choose not to dwell on stressful times but move forward instead.

There is no need to despair over aging, let's join together as we hit our stride and remember the best is yet to come.  "Be Your Own Lady on the Beach."

Live Well and Prosper

  

Controlling Anger

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy human emotion; however, the problem comes when it gets out of control and turns destructive and causes more harm than good. When I was a little girl my Nana used to say "Count to 10." Now, keep in mind that I am Irish with that little Irish temper of mine that has reared its ugly head and caused me to lose patience with people on more than one occasion. 

Through the years when I feel anger rising up inside me, I make a real conscious effort to remain silent until a later time when I feel more rational about a situation. Often times I just walk away. This is not easy to do but it will save you a lot of stress and heartache in the end. Don't let bitterness cause your anger. So many rush to social media to vent their opinions and it is far too easy to "hit reply to all" or "send." (I did that once and it did not serve me well at all) After that time, instead of social media, I journal my anger as I write down my thoughts and feelings for myself. Many times when I look back at my own anger it was brought on by something I was dealing with and not related to the situation at all. 

On the other hand, it is not healthy to hold your anger as it can lead to health problems down the road. Find a constructive way to talk about a problem. Learn to fight fair without blaming, threatening, or calling names. Don't use words like "never" as never can be a very long time. Try not to issue ultimatums. Something my sweet husband taught me was to try to use "I" rather than you. For example, I feel this when "X" happens rather than attacking with a "You" statement. For example you always "XXX." Anger can be a healthy emotion if you learn to control it rather than it controlling you but never trust your tongue when your heart is hurting and bitter. 

Heartfelt Blessings to all today.

Lessons Learned in Quarantine

WHAT ARE THE LESSONS YOU LEARNED FROM QUARANTINE?

On April 16th, early into the quarantine, I did a post on how different personalities handle things differently. If anyone would like to read it, I will be happy to share it.

In short, I am an extrovert and love to share energy with others more than anything else in this world. My study between the two personalities found that extroverts will find ways to share energy at all costs thus my daily blogs on being a positive person.

During this quarantine, I have been able to accomplish more than I ever thought possible. First and foremost, I was reminded of my strength as I saw an opportunity to see the "CAN" in cancer and that strength has carried me through my treatment and cancer-free today. I also realized what a healthy relationship I have with myself. I certainly appreciate the little things in life, I have kept a productive workday connecting with my past and present customers. I make certain to give myself breaks every couple of hours to do something I love and I quit at the same time each day. I appreciate the value of a routine and realized I can work from home and not be distracted.

All this being said perhaps I am not quite the extrovert I once thought I was. I have found that I enjoy the confinement of staying home to work on my projects, blog, cook, read more, and stay physically active. Being home with my husband has worked as we have respected one another's space. Sam has also realized that he is enjoying his alone time and he; likewise, is not as convinced that he is the extrovert he once thought. All in all, I have learned that I think I am a recovering type A + workaholic overachiever. Like many of you, I have learned to just "BE" and you know what? I have discovered my new normal and I like it and I like me.

You Be the Change

We can feel lost if we stop believing that we can create change in our world. Our actions matter. Believe change is possible and take a step in that direction, every moment. You absolutely can be the change you want to see in the world. LIGHT YOUR CANDLE AND JUST DO IT!!!!!!!

The Last Day of Radiation

Battling Cancer is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Every day I prayed that God would give me the same strength He did yesterday. I become so used to saying "I'm doing just fine," with a smile on my face that I actually believed it. The worry, treatments, and stress along with the pandemic at the same time were like a roller coaster ride but I was up for the challenge. 

From that very first day I walked into the world of Radiology Oncology until this morning when I walked out, I felt nothing short of gratitude to my team of Doctors and my technicians as well as all those giant machines that I had breakfast with every morning for twenty days that were saving my life. This morning as I laid in my little pillow, that had been made especially for me, I looked around this once frightening room and for the first time, I cried. Not tears of fear but rather tears of thanksgiving for the grace and strength that God has given me on this journey. 

Now, how do I feel now that radiation is over? I am a survivor and I have become adapted to new normalcy of having to be self-isolated. Those who have been through Chemotherapy, Radiation or other immune compromising treatments are forced to hunker down at home and avoid social contact Now, the entire world is being forced to deal with a new diagnosis, not cancer but a new coronavirus to which we have no immunity or treatment, at least not yet. You might say that having cancer preps you for something like this. You learn to deal with uncertainty, self-isolation while doing your best to stay connected and be self resilient. It frightens me to see those that are not taking this virus seriously. We all have received a diagnosis and it is up to each of us to pay attention to self-care. 

I want to thank my amazing team of Doctors, my Surgeon, Dr. Russell Novak, Sarasota First Physicians Group. 21st Century Oncology for their fine Doctors, Dr. Stephen Patrice, Radiology Oncology, Dr. Robin Lifton, Oncologist as well as my favorite technician, Jeremy who guided those machines every day. To my family who was behind the scenes to always encourage and support and last but certainly by no means least, my wonderful husband who never missed a day driving me and supporting and loving me every step of this journey. All this being said, how do I feel now that my treatment is complete? I feel like dancing!!!!

~ Helen Ann

The Sun Always Comes Up

After the dark always comes a new day. That was so clear this morning when I woke up to the most beautiful sunrise. There are times we forget to see the beauty of a new day while we are still thinking about yesterday. Yesterday? Today? Tomorrow? which day are you still working on? Are you so busy catching up on yesterday's work that you don't see your brand new day, or are you so interested in what the future is going to look like, that you forget today? Today is the only day you have, tomorrow is not promised to any of us but that doesn't mean that we can't live in today making good choices that will lead to a meaningful path to our future. 

There are some things that will help you live in the moment. Pay attention to small things that put joy in your day. Smile more as it can always influence how you feel. Random acts of kindness help you live in the moment by making others smile. One of the easiest things about living in the moment is to do something for someone else expecting nothing in return. Live in the moment by being thankful and expressing your gratitude. 

On Friday, I thanked my radiation technicians for helping me on my path to wellness and they in turn made my day saying "Miss Helen, we are going to miss your cheerful smile and positive attitude." There was a moment that I had an opportunity to show gratitude and it came right back to me, of course making me day happy as well. Living in the pandemic and having cancer at the same time has, in many ways been a blessing that I am truly thankful for. I have learned so much about living in the now and looking for that beautiful new sunrise each and every day. I have learned that spending time focused on what may happen down the road will rob me of what is happening now. Learn to live in the moment, it moves quickly...don't miss it. Have a Blessed and Beautiful Sunday and God Bless.

~ Helen Ann

Making A Difference

It is always so nice to put your energy into something worthwhile. I think most of us always feel good about making a difference in the lives of others. For me, I am happy to help and support others, and I try to have an overflow of positive energy that enriches the lives of everyone I work with and connect with. Being a positive influencer, you love to see others grow and you will be willing to walk away from “success-building” opportunities that will be hurtful and damaging to others. Unethical, demeaning, or destructive approaches should go against the very meaning and purpose of what we should be committed to in helping others. 

Haven't we all known and experienced scores of “leaders” and high-achievers who’ve gotten where they are by stepping on others on their way up the ladder of success. These are not true leaders or influencers, their power was obtained unethically and it can't be sustained over time. This type of person will reap what they’ve sown and over the long term, this day always comes. In my own journey of life, I have tried to take what I have learned and experienced as well as my failures, and use these lessons as a means to help others. Even when I was unable to achieve something, it has always made me feel so good to have helped someone else to achieve it. You too can Give More, Smile More, and Help Others More. Every day we have the power to choose to be that person who makes the difference in the lives of others.

You Can't See the Forest for the Trees

We have all heard and felt from time to time "You can't see the forest for the trees." What exactly does that mean to you? I think it is an expression used when we get so involved in the details of a problem, we can't look at the situation as a whole. If, for instance, you look at things one at a time you may not realize that branches of separate trees grow together to make a forest. 

I came to this realization when I moved to North Carolina during a time in my life when I was experiencing some challenges You might say, I went through my own self-isolation during that time. I spent hours by myself trying to figure out the big picture. The mountains with all their splendor and beauty and walks through the forest taught me so much about life. It was during those that I times that I was able to see the forest without concentrating on just tree or two. 

Now we are facing the challenge of this pandemic and a lot of people are beginning to lose their optimism. It is important to keep in mind that our mental and physical health are linked. Once in a while like perhaps a Sunday or two of yesteryear it's perfectly okay to stay in your pajamas all day and watch Netflix. That, in itself, can be fun and liberating when the keywords are "once in a while," but don't let it become a habit. You can still follow a routine and add value to your day. Learn some self-isolation activities to prevent boredom from setting in. 

For me, it has been writing and starting a blog. Downloading some podcasts, learning a new language, trying some new recipes, and Zoom-ing is a perfect way to enjoy time with family and friends. We, in Florida, reap the benefit of a lanai where we can enjoy Friday night happy hour with our neighbors on their lanai. Eating healthy and keeping an exercise routine as well as getting up and going to bed at the same time each day. You can still find joy around you. "This will have a lasting effect to make us a better humanity after this pandemic ends."

~ Helen Ann

Be Your Best Authentic Self

Steve Jobs once said, “Your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” Unfortunately, too many of us do, trapped in a life that isn’t right for us by fear and inertia. It is never too late to be who you want to be. Finding your passion is about doing what you love and being who you love in a way that empowers you to go after your dreams, becoming the best version of you, and literally creating your most magnificent, joyful, meaningful, and successful self. 

First – you have to know what it is that you truly love, you have to know what your dreams really are, and you have to know how you define, for yourself, what that magnificent, joyful, meaningful, and successful life looks like. So much can happen in a single day so don't ever underestimate the power in a day. When I decided to go to Real Estate School, you would not believe the negative comments I heard. The one that was always the loudest was "what's the point in starting a new business or pursuing a career at your age that will require going back to school, studying and taking tests to achieve a new qualification, and what if you fail and wasted all that time." Yup, that was what I heard day in and day out. 

Having always been a person with a very strong mindset coupled with a dominant thought process I continued to blaze my own trail. I did fail my State Test the first time but that only made me more determined to study harder and I am proud to say, that hard work paid off and I did get my license. Where I am today is a product of my prevailing thoughts and beliefs that I had in myself a year and a half ago. Everything has changed in amazing and beautiful ways for me. 

We all have our own unique gifts to give the world. You are a once-in-humankind combination of passions, natural aptitudes, and quirks. There will never again be anyone quite like you. Your primary purpose in life is to be the best authentic you in every way possible. You see, going after my dream added a whole new development of satisfaction to my life. I allowed myself to rise above the life that others expected of me and today looking back on all the hard work, doubt, and conflicting emotions, I can say "I Did It!" and I am proud to be living an authentic life with meaning and purpose. You too can find your passion and reach your goals. 

I once read it is better to be a the bottom of the right ladder than the top of the wrong ladder. A book that beautifully portrays being your authentic self is "Hope For the Flowers" words and illustrations by Trina Paulus. 

Have a Blessed Day.