To Thine Own Self Be True

When it comes to living as a compassionate non-judgemental human being, the only challenge greater than learning to walk a mile in someone else's shoes is learning to walk comfortably in your own.

"The most confused we get is when we try to convince our heads of something we know in our hearts to be a lie." ~Karen Morning.  There have been many times in my own life when I felt as though people didn't know or understand me.  How could they, when I didn't even know myself.  Some years ago I began searching for my authentic self by peeling away layers of years of conditioning about being told who I should be  These layers can be pretty heavy and sometimes we don't even realize they are there.  We just get used to the status quo.  We know we feel off, something doesn't feel right, in fact, it feels just plain wrong.  When I began the process of searching for "the real me," it required stripping layer after layer looking for and trying to understand why I had the feeling I did about my own self-worth.   I was the oldest of three in my family and was taught that it was most important for me to always set the example for my siblings.  I am certain that many of you remember phrases such as you are to be seen and not heard, don't make any waves, do as you are told, and we all remember this one, stop crying or I will give you something to cry about.  Then, to make things worse, we were always being compared to others.  I often herd "your father is an officer in the United States Army, and your actions are a reflection on us."  This actually proved to be true when my father was being considered for the job of Military Attache to Paraguay, and the FBI paid a visit to my High School to ensure I was of good character and not a trouble maker.  I am proud to say, I passed the test.  This was my family belief system and while it was not wrong, it turned me into a tried and true people pleaser constantly feeling paralyzed about what choices to make, and all I knew was they must always be the right choice.

Having to feel that I always needed to portray a perfect image on the outside was beginning to make me feel very disingenuous so I decided it was time for me to work at changing my target of behavior.  In doing so, I decided to become a fly on the wall and began observing myself objectively.  What I saw was that I wasn't being honest about what I thought, wanted, or needed.  I needed to make space in my life to connect with myself so I started journaling, asking myself tough questions, and being honest with the answers.  Now I have become a life long student of constantly learning how to be my Authentic Self.  What does that really mean?  It simply means being my best self and not a poor imitation of someone else.  I began my journey by not worrying about what others thought I should be (that was an extremely difficult habit to break), instead I concentrated on who I wanted to be.  No one can tell you how to be true to yourself except you.

Next week I will give you a glimpse of how I began to recognize that I was finally beginning to Live My Authentic Life.  

~Live Well and Prosper